Be the ‘Giver’ and ‘Winner’ of your team.

If you have not watched this TED talk from Adam Grant, you are generally going to love it OR ignore it. I ended up on the side of loving it as - I am a Giver.

Courtesy Image:- psychologytoday.com

Now that led me to think about the other part of the conversation. How to make sure we do not land on the spectrum of the Giver who constantly sabotages themselves or drives themselves into burnout.

courtesy Image:- theconversation.com

So when I started retrospecting my career of ~20 … of course, ‘Been there Done that’. But The wisdom and learning from my struggles could help someone…

Here are some of the tips that helped me out.

1. Change your mindset. Change the question before helping. Instead of ‘What can I do for you’ or ‘How can I help you’. Ask ‘what is blocking you’ and ‘why do you think I can help you with your Impediment’. This twists the thought process on both ends and avoids you getting sucked into a situation where you can be of no help.
2. Active Listening. This is one of the strongest asset of any good leader and hardest to master. Many situations people just need a sounding board for an idea or opinion to about their problems. It was never meant for us to jump in and solve their problems. A must read for harnessing this skill is Coaching Habit. It helped me numerous times to get to the crux of the issue on hand.
3. Weigh the impediment against Team priorities. Another easy way to avoid unnecessary burnout is to weigh the current ‘ask’ priority against Team priorities. If what has been asked of you is less important than your current work, you know the answer already. Discuss these priorities with the person asking for help. Definitely puts a perspective for both parties and for the rest in the team.
4. Saying `No` — Never or Depends on the ask?. As a Giver this is probably the hardest thing to do and the last resort. Read many articles and watched videos. Here is an example ‘Art of saying No’. But this is still the hardest part to master. so I have developed a habit of examining the origin of the problem. I was surprised to learn many a time it is nothing but a mental block on the person asking for help . And helping them encourages a habit of mental laziness. Removes the resistance to saying ‘No’.

Conclusion:-

Make it a win for you and others by enabling the issue to be analyzed and see how they can solve it themselves while still being the Giver. Only jump into the task if you can contribute. How to achieve this ? Active Listening, change your mindset, Weigh the impediment and ultimately protect your time and energy by Saying No. That to me is the difference of Givers who are Winners. The ones who pull themselves and others up the ladder of progress.

Now you can be a GIVER. please share your ideas or comments.

Disclaimer:- Solely my opinions above. If you need Expert advice, read the book Give and Take by Adam Grant.